The days are finally getting longer here in Northwest Montana. We made it I think when the clock strikes five and the sun is still casting its glow. I think about the Scandinavians that have even less sunlight than us and the same amount of grey. That’s what gets you, I think… the lack of sun, even just a peek, during daylight hours. Other areas of the country (and world for that matter) don’t know this grey. But rather than sit and sulk about it, we create our own light.
When I met Amy and Chris I knew we’d be fast friends. Anyone who opens with Have you been to Zahav? upon hearing we moved from Philly are our kinda people. After a hectic few months, we all finally sat down together over our Zahav Cookbook feast. We shared stories for hours over Zahav lamb, Persian rice pilaf, Israeli Pickles, Moussaka, Israeli Salad, Hummus, and Tahini cookies. It was the best meal I’ve had in a very long time. I’m already thinking about our next dinner club night.
33 weeks and counting
We’re coming up on 34 weeks and it’s starting to set in a bit more that we will have a new little person here with us in anywhere from a few to a bit more than a few more weeks. My friend said something that made me laugh The day comes when you realize you won’t be pregnant forever and that is so true. This state of being seems like it’s always been this way. It’s hard to imagine time before, really. I’m eager for baby’s ‘birth day’ to come, but at the same time there’s that part of me that wants things to stay the same for a little while. I can’t blame myself, really… the love I have for this man I spend the whole of my days with, for our life together, is beyond measure. Change is never easy, especially the all-encompassing, irreversible sort… is there anything bigger than this? Nothing that I know of.
Baby is doing great in there– a strong, steady heartbeat, kicks and punches and full body rolls. When I get a little nervous after not feeling a lot of movement I give a little rub to where those little feet usually are and often I get a swift kick back. It’s alright, Ma! I was only resting. Mama is doing well too. Though I can see the end of pregnancy as nature’s preparation for the big day. I’m more tired and achy, easily irritated some days, used too but also enough already with the nighttime bathroom visits (though I know this is about as uninterrupted as it’ll get for a long while). My current obsession is trying to get Baby in the best position for birth.
I’m preparing as much as I can, meditating, doing yoga, walking… cleaning, organizing, folding tiny onesies. There are days where I reach that point of enough preparing. let’s get the show on the road! But most days I’m at peace where we are. Before I go to bed I reread stories from Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth to keep my headspace positive. I know many women’s births are far from ecstatic, and I have no clue what my baby’s will bring, but a positive mindset can only help, no matter what unfolds.