What will labor be like? Will the day feel like spring or bring a late-season snow. How will I cope–Will I be loud and wild? Silent and inward-turning? Can I really do this? What will the first few days, weeks, months be like? The sleepless nights. The healing and learning.
I’m doing a lot of contemplating. That’s a means of preparation too, right? Reading the articles on mindfulness, watching and reading the birth stories. This helps me a lot. While I wonder those questions above, I know I can’t answer them. Only time can. But I find empowerment through letting go of the will to predict and also by watching and reading about other women going through the same thing. If they can do it, we can too.
Time has been flying. I can’t believe we are already a past the halfway point. How did that happen? And I can’t quite get over how much I’ve grown over the past couple of weeks. I’m partial to loose-fitting clothing, but when I wear tight items it’s shocking when I catch myself in the mirror. Meanwhile, Baby is kicking up a storm in the early morning and evening, much to the delight of their mama and papa.
Something odd I’ve noticed over the past months is peoples’ preference for the sex of our baby or what they presume our preference is. Do most people have a preference? Or is this as antiquated as I think? I speak for both of us when I say we truly do not have a preference! At all. For a while I felt that the only names I could love were girls’ names but that’s long since past as we’re pulling together our secret lists.
Our 22nd week has been full of excitement.
We celebrated Luke’s birthday with a special dinner at home (at his request). I made fennel risotto, scallops, brussels sprouts with caramelized lemon, and a roasted butternut squash tart for dessert. It was heavenly. And the next day we , we had our first Halloween in our new house that is located on one of the streets in town. I made a big pot of chili and we doled out bite-sized morsels for hours. We got over 1,100 trick-or-treaters! Next year I hope to get a little potluck tradition going.
Speaking of the 31st, this day marks the ELEVENTH anniversary of our meeting. As each year passes, I love reminiscing about our rich and eventful time together. Eleven years… all of my twenties. College and first (and second and third…) jobs and travel adventures, solo and together and marriage and all the wonderful, uneventful days and moments in between. And now, a baby. I feel very lucky every day to have found such an amazing person to share my life with.
We continued to plan and reserve for our whirlwind Oregon and Northern California road trip! We are thinking of making our way down to the Redwoods but we’ll see how we feel after Portland. Oh my, I’m so excited for all the indulgences this former city girl’s heart aches for: long walks, spectacular meals, vintage shops… you get it.
Our home is coming together slowly but surely. This past weekend we spent the morning with our new friend Mehmet at his antique rug shop. This purchase has been one we’ve planning for for a long while and finally we pulled the trigger. We purchased one huge rug for the main living area and one for under the dining table. One is from Iran and dyed with pomegranates and the other is from Turkey. They’re so special. And as a special treat, Mehmet gave us a smaller rug to put in front of the crib when the time comes. Lucky Baby!
On symptoms: Still hungry most of the time. Insomnia has let up for the time being (!!) but hip pain is front and center from sleeping on my side only. A little discomfort after eating big meals (all that rearranging going on in there!). Otherwise, not much to report. And I’m so, so grateful.
On midwifery: I love my midwife. She’s caring, compassionate, collaborative, competent, and just a joy to be around. Tomorrow is our next appointment and I’m always excited for them. Plus, she really loves pregnant women and babies. What more could I ask for? We’re lucky to have so many great providers around here.
On body changes: I really love my pregnant body– despite the aches and pains and the fact that I have precisely one pair of pants (leggings) that I can wear comfortably and a couple of shirts. The word I through around all the time, never lightly, is miraculous. This is miraculous! Growing a baby, changing shape to accommodate, developing further to feed him or her someday soon. I sit in wonder every day.
(More) on labor: I have to say, I teeter between actually being excited to experience labor and being really nervous. I’ve been fascinated by birth ever since I can remember and the reality of that is consuming and exciting.