thoughts from my 20s: becoming a listener

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goodness gracious the end of the week is here, quicker than i imagined. After a weekend in the country I expected it to crawl, but it was filled with meet-ups with friends we haven’t seen in too long  and a lovely person who’s new to town from across the Atlantic.

on learning to listen-my senior year of high school I was voted most talkative… a superlative I rightfully earned and was proud to boast about. I’ve always been one of those people who finds contentment in incessant conversation. Who, during awkward silences, mends them with a generic question or complement or transition word such as well, anyway, what was I going to say… or by reiterating the last couple of words I just said.

Does anyone else host this attribute? Are you trying to shake it?

i’m working really hard lately on absorbing words, lessons, and feelings from others and from myself. i realize by doing this i can be a better person- a better friend, partner, daughter, sister, aunt…you get it. Because by listening, I’ll provide to others what i benefit so much from…attentive silence.

We spent the weekend hiking a portion ( 9 miles) of the Appalachian trail. the peace of it all was overwhelming at first but as time went on i realized how much i was absorbing and experiencing from the silence. it’s strange, but my introverted properties are becoming more and more prevalent.

sometimes facing your own thoughts is uncomfortable or scary…sometimes I find them suffocating and can only recover from a really deep breath that is audible to those around me. probably why most of us try our hardest to distract ourselves and focus attention elsewhere…maybe even to numb it all just a little bit so can push through that middle space and arrive at the next high. yes, i do this, no, i definitely don’t have it all together like I thought I would, and it’s taken me so long to admit it but here I am and I’m here to tell you it’s OK.

I have so much to learn that sometimes it all becomes too much. but I’m appreciating the struggle more and more as the years tick on…and my hope is maybe at a point I’ll learn to celebrate and accept my own struggles as I do those of others, and use them as encouragement versus defeat.

All to say, it’s a start and i’m trying and that’s all you can do.

2 thoughts on “thoughts from my 20s: becoming a listener

  1. I have the opposite problem where I can be awkwardly quiet. I am learning to enjoy this aspect of myself but also to express myself more to people I care about.

    Love you and your beautiful thoughts. x

    Like

    1. And this is why we’re so compatible 🙂 I think it better to allow for silence versus filling up each and every gap but that’s just me…and also evidence of being too hard on myself.

      Love you!

      Like

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